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The Song of Solomon offers strikingly candid—and timeless—insights on romance, dating, marriage, and sex. We need it. Because emotions rise and fall with a single glance, touch, kiss, or word. And we are inundated with songs, movies, and advice that contradicts God's design for love and intimacy.
Matt Chandler helps navigate these issues for both singles and marrieds by revealing the process Solomon himself followed: Attraction, Courtship, Marriage ... even Arguing. The Mingling of Souls will forever change how you view and approach love.
- Sales Rank: #3012 in Books
- Brand: David C Cook
- Published on: 2015-01-01
- Released on: 2015-01-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .75" w x 5.50" l, .50 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
About the Author
Matt Chandler pastors The Village Church, a multi-campus church attended by more than 10,000 people. His sermons are regularly one of the top five podcasts on iTunes and his book, The Explicit Gospel, has sold over 135,000 copies. Matt lives in Dallas with his wife and three children.
Jared C. Wilson is an award-winning writer and author of the popular books Your Jesus Is Too Safe, Gospel Wakefulness, Gospel Deeps, and the curriculum Abide. He is pastor of Middletown Springs Community Church in Vermont and blogs daily at TheGospelCoalition.org.
Most helpful customer reviews
51 of 52 people found the following review helpful.
Balanced, Biblical Approach to Dating, Marriage, and Sex
By Paul Ragon
The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex & Redemption - Matt Chandler with Jared C. Wilson
The scope of this book runs from the beginning to the end of a relationship. Starting with attraction, Chandler works his way through each phase of romantic relationships: attraction, dating, courtship, wedding, sex, fighting, romance, and commitment. It is a holistic look at what a Godly relationship looks like as conveyed through the Song of Solomon. Overall Chandler gives a balanced, Biblical, and practical take on dating, marriage, and beyond.
Highlights
I think one of the most helpful and needed discussions in the book was on the idea of the "one." In the chapter on marriage ("Wedding Bells") Chandler says this:
"I just see no reason to agree with the worldly romantic notion that every person has just one 'soul mate' out there waiting for him or her. In fact, I find that idea to be anticovenantal, contrary to grace... It turns the search for a godly spouse into an audition to be the one who 'completes' you... No spouse can complete you. Don't look for a spouse to do what only Jesus can." (pg 106-107)
He goes on to say that whomever you marry is the "one" for you. This is such a refreshing take on the popular romantic ideal that is so prevalent in our culture, even Christian culture. Chandler doesn't deny the sovereignty of God working in our lives, but denies the pagan idea that someone "completes us." And he emphases the covenantal relationship of marriage by illustrating that the "one" is the one you chose to marry.
Chandler's distinction between dating and courtship is also extremely helpful. The cynicism in me runs deep when it comes to the idea of courtship because of works like "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." The way Chandler deals with it however is quite refreshing. He spells it out this way: dating is the "get to know you" phase of the relationship, and courtship is the "let's head toward marriage" phase of the relationship. Essentially the difference in dating and courting is the intention behind it, not necessarily certain actions. This is helpful because it removes the pressure from dating and the awkwardness from courtship.
Another strong point of the book is the dealing with marriage being a representation of Christ and the Church. I think this so often gets lost in the "romantic love" part of marriage. Christ's commitment to the Church is the same commitment that spouses are to have to one another. The way Christ gave himself up for the Church is the same way a husband is to give himself for his wife, sacrificially. The love that spouses are to have for one another is the love that Christ has for His Church; committed, delighting, faithful love.
Chandler also does a good job of not leave things in the theoretical sphere, but also offers practical advice throughout the book. The strongest section of practical advice is on conflict, or "Fighting Fair" to use his language. He borrows a good portion of it from other authors but it is very practical and Biblical. Honestly the majority of advice he offers could be used in any relationship, not just marriage.
Critiques
The one critique that I can offer is on the chapter about sex. As a whole the chapter was very good. He had great things to say about healthy sex within marriage, but if felt somewhat one sided. It's typical in dealing with sex for authors to focus primarily on males and I was hopeful that Chandler would address both genders equally. While he does address women, the main emphases seems to be directed at men. While he did a better job than most, it still felt a little one sided.
Final Thoughts
As a whole I really enjoyed the book, especially the final chapter, which I found to be the most inspirational. While I am yet to be married, the thought of finishing well in marriage is something that is very appealing. It is something that I know I want to strive to achieve. Chandler gave a great call for all to do so and practical advice for how to do so. I pray that I one day have the opportunity to finish well and am faithful to the end.
Rating: 4.5 / 5
Originally posted at: [...]
42 of 45 people found the following review helpful.
Matt Nails It on Marriage
By David Harris
Matt Chandler's greatest assets are his accessibility and bluntness: two important qualities when writing about issues like these. Not every evangelical preacher would feel as comfortable writing about marriage, and certainly, very few would be as enjoyable to read. His style of ministry is well suited for the topic.
The scope addressed is marriage from beginning to end. Chandler starts with attraction and takes the reader through friendship, dating, courtship, marriage, and old age.
The source is the Song of Solomon. Chandler avoids being too technical and writing a commentary, while also avoiding the other extreme of over-practicality, turning God's Word into a "how-to" manual for romancers. No, in a very balanced way, Matt takes the truths he discovered in an in-depth study of the Song, and distills them through life experience. The finished product, "Mingling of Souls" then becomes Biblically accurate for your relationship and practical in your relationship.
As an engaged Christian who is seeking honest, Scriptural advice for this new phase of my life, I am grateful to the Lord that I stumbled onto Matt's new book in the Life way magazine last month. Matt's honesty in presenting the things he does, coupled with his accessibility in his presentation, will have a definite, Christ-honoring impact on my married life.
This book is for interested singles, to make you think about the serious nature of the marriage covenant. This book is for engaged couples, who need honest wisdom spoken into their lives about conflict, unrealistic expectations, and the roadblocks ahead. This book is for married people, so they can get their life together back on track God's way. If you fall into any of those categories, purchase "Mingling of Souls."
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Outstanding!!!
By Kensi
In a sea of very well meaning Christian single, dating, and marriage book, Chandler's stands out among the rest! His honesty, humor, and organization make the book enjoyable to read, rather than feel as if you're being berated, lectured, or following a manual, like many others in this genre. Yet, Chandler's supreme understanding of both Song of Solomon and the human mind and heart are what makes this book truly life changing. He runs through the material smoothly, dissecting at the exact right places, and often saying what everyone is thinking or afraid to admit. This book feels like a relaxing read, a conversation with God and a session with a counselor all at once. Reviving, life-giving and relieving.
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